hypervigilance.

Hypervigilance

I'm not, but someone claims it again, and again....

Hypervigilance is an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats. Hypervigilance is also accompanied by a state of increased anxiety which can cause exhaustion. 
​Hypervigilance - 
Hypervigilance

fuckin' hell. man.

Making Sense of Personality Disorders
Borderline? Narcissistic? Sociopathic?
First, you wondered if you were crazy, after the abusive treatment you lived with. Now you understand that it's caused by a personality disorder. But trying to figure out which disorder is again driving you crazy! Borderline? Narcissistic? Sociopathic/Antisocial? All of the above?
Knowing that your “significant other” has a personality disorder allows you to say, “Finally, I know it’s not me!” But now what? This book can help you answer the questions that continue to trouble you, and remove the uncertainties that keep you from making positive changes.

It's borderline! It's narcissistic! No! It's SuperDisorder!

For most people, life or work with someone who has a personality disorder eventually reaches a point where things become intolerable. You know something has to change, but what? To answer that, most people need to understand what disorder they are facing, and then understand how the disorder leads to the troubling behavior they experience.

That’s where The Hypervigilant Personality comes in. First it will help you clear the fog around the disorders with a new concept for a single disorder – HVPD – that embraces both the official narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. Then it will explain to you the kind of childhood experiences that lead to this illness, and the basic psychological characteristics that those with HVPD carry into adult life: self-loathing, constant expectation of criticism, and a pathological fear of criticism. HVPD is not a list of symptoms, but a combination of these three psychological characteristics. You'll learn how these are engendered in childhood, and more important how they lead to all the puzzling and hurtful behavior you experience.

The Hypervigilant Personality goes on to explain all the dysfunctional behaviors that HVPD causes, including what appears to be frequent lying. Those with HVPD exhibit very consistent patterns in certain settings. The book describes and explains this in all the important settings, including: in intimate relationships, in family; in extended family; in community; in work; in ending relationships, and in divorce.

The book goes on to explain why diagnosis is so difficult, even for professionals. And since, in divorce, those with HVPD sometimes alienate their children from the other parent, the book explains how HVPD characteristics lead a parent to this abusive treatment. Finally it looks at similarities and differences of adult trauma, which can lead to PTSD, when compared to HVPD.

In sum, The Hypervigilant Personality gives you the insight you need to understand all of your experiences with the disordered person in your life, and an understanding of what you can expect to experience in the future. With this, you can start to answer "What now?" and start taking positive steps to improve your life. 

---