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child-abuse.

29/5/2016

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​Childhood abuse may stunt growth of part of brain involved in emotions.
Three key areas of the hippocampus in the brain were smaller in people who reported maltreatment in childhood.

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Being sexually or emotionally abused as a child can affect the development of a part of the brain that controls memory and the regulation of emotions, a study suggests.
The results add to the growing body of evidence that childhood maltreatment or abuse raises the risk of mental illnesses such as depression, personality disorders and anxiety well into adulthood.
Martin Teicher of the department of psychiatry at Harvard University scanned the brains of almost 200 people who had been questioned about any instances of abuse or stress during childhood. He found that the volumes of three important areas of the hippocampus were reduced by up to 6.5% in people exposed to several instances of maltreatment – such as physical or verbal abuse from parents – in their early years.
"The exquisite vulnerability of the hippocampus to the ravages of stress is one of the key translational neuroscience discoveries of the 20th century," wrote Teicher on Monday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Early clues of the relationship came when scientists found that raising stress hormones for extended periods reduced the number of neurons in the hippocampal areas, a result that has since been replicated in many non-human primates.
Other work has shown that people with a history of abuse or maltreatment during childhood are twice as likely to have recurrent episodes of depression in adulthood. These individuals are also less likely to respond well to psychological or drug-based treatments.
In the new study, Teicher's team scanned the brains of 73 men and 120 women aged between 18 and 25. The volunteers filled in a standard questionnaire used by psychiatrists to assess the number of "adverse childhood experiences".

Overall, 46% of the group reported no exposure to childhood adversity and 16% reported three or more forms of maltreatment, the most common being physical and verbal abuse from parents. Other factors included corporal punishment, sexual abuse and witnessing domestic violence.

Andrea Danese, a clinical lecturer in child and adolescent psychiatry at King's College London's Institute of Psychiatry, who was not involved in the study, said Teicher's results took scientists a step closer to understanding the complex relationship between childhood maltreatment and brain development. "The large sample size allows for reliable detection of even comparatively small effects of maltreatment on the brain, whereas the recruitment from the general population allows for a less biased interpretation of the study, which builds on previous research often carried out in psychiatric patients."
 
The high-resolution brain imaging analysis allowed Teicher to home in on minute areas of the hippocampus and explore the association between maltreatment and this brain region in finer detail than ever before. "This is important because not all areas in the hippocampus are equally sensitive to the effect of stress mediators, such as cortisol and inflammatory biomarkers," said Danese. "Thus, the authors took advantage of this gradient to indirectly test the mechanisms through which childhood maltreatment could affect the brain."

One limitation of the study might be that it required the volunteers to recall their childhood experiences, added Danese. "The findings are based on the perceptions and memories that participants have of their childhood rather than on objective events. This may be problematic because some groups of individuals could be more or less prone than others to report experiences of maltreatment. This 'recall' bias has been described in individuals with a history of depression, who may be more likely to report abuse."

However, Teicher's team was able to test whether a history of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder might explain his observed effects of childhood maltreatment on the hippocampus, and showed that the results were independent of these factors.  "Although the authors report that childhood maltreatment is associated with smaller hippocampus regions, it is possible that these abnormalities pre-dated and possibly facilitated maltreatment exposure. 

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calvin klein.

29/5/2016

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​Calvin Klein
Calvin R. Klein was born in the Bronx, New York, on 19 November 1942. He attended the High School of Industrial Arts and the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, where he studied fashion design.
Klein's first major position in the fashion industry was with Dan Millstein, a Seventh Avenue coat and suit manufacturer. He worked there from 1962 to 1964, starting as a pattern cutter and advancing to a full-fledged designer.
Klein's second position was with Halldon, Ltd., where he began to be recognized in the press for his designs.
Klein soon became frustrated by the design restrictions of moderate-priced fashion manufacturers. Encouraged by his parents and financed by his boyhood friend Barry Schwartz, Klein developed a collection of coats and suits under his own label.
Klein's first line was discovered by a buyer from Bonwit Teller, who was so impressed by the collection of finely tailored coats in fresh colors that he sent Klein to meet with Mildred Custin, then president of Bonwit Teller. Custin placed a large order with Klein, giving a jumpstart to the newly formed Calvin Klein Limited.
Early on, the savvy Klein developed relationships with fashion insiders, including the designer Chester Weinberg and Vogue fashion editor Nicolas de Gunzburg. The publicity agent Eleanor Lambert took Klein on as a client and was instrumental in guiding his early career. Klein's first Vogue cover was in September 1969, with his classically cut outerwear featured prominently in the New York fall preview editorial inside. Throughout the 1970s, Klein's designs were noted for their sportswear influence, muted pastel color palettes, and simplicity of design. Looks that are considered classic Klein were introduced at this time: the pea coat, the trench coat, the shirtdress, and the wrap blouse. Klein was also an early advocate of all-occasion or "day into night" dressing, with evening pajamas being his preferred form of formal wear.
As the decade wore on, Klein eased up his tailoring for a relaxed, sexy look. Klein also began to incorporate looks from active sportswear into his collection-swimwear and tennis outfits that could be used off the beaches and tennis courts by pairing them with wrap skirts or pants. Corduroy cargo pants, flannel shirts, and elegant fur-trimmed parkas were shown on Klein's 1970s fall runways. For all his innovations, Calvin Klein won his first Coty American Fashion Critic's Winnie Award-as the youngest recipient ever-in 1973. He won again in 1974, and in 1975 he was inducted into the Coty Hall of Fame. In 1978 Klein began designing a menswear collection that was licensed to Maurice Biderman.
The most groundbreaking piece of sportswear Klein showed on the runway first appeared in spring 1976: a slim-cut pair of jeans with his name embroidered on the back pocket. Although the idea of logo-emblazoned jeans was not brand-new, this was the first time that jeans had shown up on a designer runway. By 1978, with Puritan Fashions as manufacturer, Klein was selling 2 million pairs of jeans per month. The phenomenal success that Klein had with his jeans line was due in no small way to a brilliant and controversial advertising campaign starring a young Brooke Shields.
The 1980sKlein's designs, even in the excessive 1980s, continued to evoke a minimalist aesthetic, with a relatively restrained use of embellishment and color. The core of the collection was, as always, made up of timeless pieces in good fabrics. The Council of Fashion Designers of America (CDFA) recognized Klein when he won designer of the year awards in 1982 and 1983 for his women's collection. Klein won a CFDA award in 1986 for both his men's and women's collections, the first time a designer had won both awards in the same year.
"I didn't think I was doing anything different from what Voguedid when it used Brooke as a model…. Vogue put $3,000 dresses on her, but it wasn't expecting to sell those dresses to 15-year-olds. It was using her as a model and I was using her as an actress" (Quoted in Plaskin, p. 4).
With the Brooke Shields ads, Calvin Klein forever changed television commercials. Klein spent an unprecedented $5 million on marketing that year. Feminists were enraged by the jeans ads and felt that, rather than sales, the commercials-with slogans such as "You know what comes between me and my Calvin's? Nothing"-would provoke violence against women (Plaskin, p. 62).
In 1982 Calvin Klein launched a men's underwear line. The collection revolved around a standard men's brief, with Klein's name stamped on the waistband. Bold black-and-white photography on the packaging and an advertising campaign featuring celebrity models Antonio Sabato Jr. and Marky Mark in suggestive poses helped make the product appealing to both straight and gay men. The underwear line became a phenomenon when Klein took the same briefs and modified and marketed them for women. Warnaco purchased the underwear division in 1994.
By 1983 Calvin Klein, whose eponymous fragrance had produced a lukewarm reception four years earlier, was ready to give perfume another try. The result was Obsession and, again, with brilliant advertising-television ads directed by Richard Avedon and print ads shot by Bruce Weber-Obsession was a success. In 1986 Klein married Kelly Rector, one of his design assistants. The marriage, as well as the mid-1980s "return to family values" mood, inspired the designer's next fragrance, Eternity. A shared-gender fragrance, cK One, was launched in 1994.
The 1990sIn the 1990s Calvin Klein's worldwide expansion into Asia, Europe, and the Middle East markets brought his name international consumer recognition. The decade also saw Klein revamp the jeans/sport division of the company, creating the cK collection, made to appeal to a younger, hipper customer. Klein had been farsighted enough to realize the importance of archiving his work, so a constant recall of his roots was readily available. The cK line, largely inspired by these vintage collection pieces, was recognized by the CFDA with an award in 1993.
Klein surrounds himself with people who share his aesthetic, and he is known in the fashion world for his intensely collaborative relationships with those who work with him. Most noteworthy is Zack Carr, who was Klein's creative doppelgänger for almost thirty years. Jeffrey Banks, Isaac Mizrahi, and Narciso Rodriguez are also no-table Calvin Klein alums.
The twenty-first century began with litigation between Klein and Warnaco over underwear and jeans distribution. The case was eventually settled out of court. Klein and his partner Barry Schwartz sold Calvin Klein, Inc., to Phillips-Van Heusen in December 2002. Since that time Klein has stepped down as creative head of the company that bears his name and has assumed a consultant role.
The name Calvin Klein represents so many different things-controversial advertising campaigns, the leading name in the designer-jeans phenomenon, stylish boyish underwear for women, and brilliant and ruthless business practices. So much of what Klein designed has become fundamentally what Americans wear that his clothing can rightly be called an American uniform.

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if.

27/5/2016

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​If - by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son! 
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Halle

26/5/2016

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John M. Rinaldi
SAG/AFTRA​

Dear Halle, 

This is your friend John from the show.  I just called your attorney and he has a message from me.  I didn't call a celebrity, but the girl who became my friend and wrote her number on her zed-card.

best, 
​J
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the rainy day, henry wadsworth longfellow

15/5/2016

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The Rainy Day

​The day is cold, and dark, and dreary; 
It rains,and the wind is never weary; 
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall, 
But at every gust the dead leaves fall, 
And the day is dark and dreary. 

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary; 
It rains,and the wind is never weary; 
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past, 
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast, 
And the days are dark and dreary. 

Be still, sad heart, and cease repining; 
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining; 
Thy fate is the common fate of all, 
Into each life some rain must fall, 
Some days must be dark and dreary.

​
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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green-eyed monster

15/5/2016

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'no relevance.

 It did resonate a bit, however.  
'my word is my bond and I'd never betray.  

say what you want, there are good people and there are not so good...  

​j

Yesterday,
I went home for lunch,
I never go home for lunch.

When I got to our apartment 
I don't know why but I didn't reach for my key. 

Francine was at work and I always leave last in the morning. 
I was sure I had locked the door but I didn't reach for my key.

I reached for the door knob and turned.

The door was open. 

I don't know how I knew.
The moment I entered I knew.  

I froze.
I could feel it,
smell it,
hell I could taste it.

I started walking but my muscles wouldn't move,  
my lungs were grasping for air 
for some oxygen 
some sweet, sweet oxygen
but I could barely breathe.

“Leave!” I told myself but I kept walking.

Not really walking, 
it was like moving through mud, 
like a slow motion scene in a movie. 

But this wasn't a movie. 

This was my life and I could feel it slipping away 
from my grasp.

I heard noises!

Francine. 

I had heard those noises
a hundred times before, 
they were the sounds of an Angel 
but this was no heaven 
this was my own private nightmare.

The moans traveled through the muck in the air 
amplified like the hiss from a distorted speaker. 
It mocked me over and over again.

Climbing a mountain might have been easier 
but I finally reached the bedroom,

and there they were,

and there she was.

I knew,
I knew the moment I entered the apartment. 
Why hadn't I just turned back? 
I could barely see, my eyes were blurry, 
covered in layers of my own tears.

I could see her 
I knew I had never seen him before.
They were naked and in our bed. 

Naked in OUR BED!

How do you that?

How do you cross the line to that extreme?

You'd think the green eyed monster 
would control my actions from here on in. 

​I did see green!
I was insanely jealous but I didn't want to end
up the morning headline in the newspaper.

That monster jealousy was by my side but I took charge.  
I'd have to keep him at bay,
at least for now.

You'd think I would be mad,
I wasn't.
You'd think I'd curse and call her whore.
I didn't!

Being cut open alive must be lest painful than this.  
This hacked away at my spirit, 
tore away at my self worth.

I felt like a pile of worthless shreds.
I spoke I mean my lips moved and words came out...

I think. 
I think I said, 
I'm not sure it all happened so fast,
she never spoke.

I could see the shame on her face 
she didn't need to speak, 

but,
but I think I said 'Sorry...
I said Sorry and I left.

I wandered for what seemed hours, 
it was minutes. 
It wasn't like I was meandering to a different drummer; 
there just wasn't any music anymore.

I was moving to the rhythm of the beating of my own heart. 

Like a broken record it was skipping,
like a broken record it played 
in a loop of repetitive monotony.

I suffered in my circled steps 
until I couldn't stand it any more.

I found just enough strength 
to return to the apartment.

I knew she was gone 
I already felt the emptiness in my whole.

We'd never see each other again.

We had been so much.

She was a big part of my life.
She was the love of my life.
I would never love anyone like that again.

So much of her was me.

I thought she was my soul mate.

We let go of all of it.

There is a feeling of betrayal.
A feeling of disgust.

A jealousy that takes over.

I'd never look at her the same again.

Everything she ever did from that day on
would always make me suspicious.

Jealousy would rule me.
Jealousy should never rule anyone.

If you can't trust the people in your life,
friend or lover,
you need to remove that person from your life.
You have to remove that person out of your life.

Trust,
Trust is the only gift we can offer.
Friend, lover or stranger!

People can trust me.
My word is my bond.

I let her go,  
I really didn't have a choice
I would never be the same again.

She was gone.
She had left a note.
It said Sorry!
Sorry! We both were.


Maurice Yvonne 11~30~2014
The Green-Eyed Monster 
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STOP @BULLYINGUK

11/5/2016

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Dear Bullying UK,
cc: Ms. Loretta Lynch

As requested, we hope this helps..

We stored belongings with a friend. He wouldn't return them so we had to file a police report. He then retaliated by writing an inflammatory review on an extortion site called RipOff Report.

We run a foundation for children, so when people Google us, they find this bogus account of us and people react negatively believing the lies.

A neighbor was approached in the neighborhood to support our efforts with Sandy Hook, Newtown, CT post their 2012 massacre and after googling us had become afraid of us believing the rhetoric despite our significant credentials.

In 20015, I made a good will gesture to the same neighbor after a chance encounter and identified my car to turn over a coveted parking spot. My car was vandalized as a result and I went to social media to complain. She retaliated by filing a complaint, and the DA jumped at the chance to award a 'celebrity' victory.

The neighbor only wanted a restraining order, and the DA pressured us into taking a plea. But, we could not admit to behavior we've spent an entire lifetime to prevent. The DA too retaliated and allowed perjured testimony and made a mockery of the judicial system.

In 2010 when the RipOff reports were first posted, we worked with the NYPD Detective Arroyo of the NYPD CyberCrimes division and Detective Thomas in the Police Commissioner's office worked very hard to get us justice and had Michael Levine post a retraction. We thought we were good and used our experience as a lesson to kids...

'We as adults have life skills to handle bullying. We 'know' it won't define us so we evoke life skills to move past. Our kids have limited experience and as a result often feel their lives are over when bullied.

The statistics on bullying and suicideare alarming: Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. ... Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.

We thought we were mature enough to handle our cyber bullying, but we're not. As a result, we were further bullied by a 'celebrity' and the DA who as we know don't care about truths but convictions.

We hoped to save lives, but cannot even save our own.

Www.TheSandyHookKidsCenter.com
www.johnmrinaldi.com

John M. Rinaldi.

We would like to say that suicide is NEVER an option, as things can and will get better.

But, we can't

if you are taking on a powerful individual there is no justice if there's an economic difference.

We would not pay the $35,000- $50,000 needed for a legitimate council. Although we met with Eric Frank Esq. and the bill was to be paid by Jay Anderson. Or our other friend Evan Saks introduced us to his criminal attorney with Evan paying his fees.

We would not not allow this.

We foolishly believed DA Vince and ADA Angelica Gregory would abide to a vowed code of conduct/ethics.

• they did not.

We also did not ever imagine that there would be such blatant and unchallenged perjury allowed.

•they lied.

We are also told that 'of course we would take this approach.

My answer:
1. Read the testimonies and compare to discovery.
2. Compare dates on original complaint to computer forensics.
3. Lastly take on consideration that if I was the predator that they suggest then I'd never have been offered and been forced for a 1 1/2 year period to take a plea of disorderly.

This is blatant:
​retaliation.




pt. 1.

WHY THIS CASE MATTERS SO MUCH - TO SO MANY

Imagine one day you or someone you love, find yourself wrapped up in some unexpected litigation, whether civil or criminal. (Statistically speaking, everyone in America will, at some time in their life, be a party in a lawsuit.)


A little background.
Until three years ago, Michael Kathreine truly believed courtrooms were places where judges listened to the facts carefully and decided cases honestly.


Then he got the lesson of his life.


A judge in his case could, and did, cheat. Opposing counsels could, and did, cheat. And once they coordinated their cheating, no fact, law or procedure could save him. He was set up to lose.


When you think of a “corrupt” judge, you may think of one who trades rulings for cash. As far as we know, that obvious sort of corruption is rare. You must appreciate however, that corruption may take subtle but equally destructive forms.


Among other things, a dishonest judge can ignore evidence, twist rules and procedure, obstruct the record, retaliate, manufacture facts or ignore others, allow infirm claims or dismiss valid ones, deny admission of evidence prejudicial to the favored party, suborn perjury, mischaracterize pleadings, engage in ex parte communication and misapply the law.
When he or she does these things intentionally, (motivation is a separate issue) he commits a crime. Petty or grand, the acts are still crimes. It takes surprisingly little to “steer” a case.


After the American Revolution, our Constitution was conceived and adopted as the mechanical foundation of our government. For ordinary citizens, the independent grand jury was the only tool of salvation from judicial corruption. Without this critical tool of redress, American civil rights exist only at the will of a judge. That tool (unfettered access to a grand jury) has been taken away.


Judges simply snatched it from us. They did it by enacting “judicial legislation,” i.e., by “ruling” that private citizens had no right of access to the grand jury. They took the grand jury from us and they gave it to themselves, and they use their "gatekeeping" power to protect themselves (from accountability) all the time.


Who decided, “What will be the law?” Judges did.
Who is supposed to decide, “What will be the law?” Congress is.


Right under Congress's nose, the entire judicial branch of our government placed itself out of reach. They eliminated all means to be held accountable to the public for their actions.


Judges are now, above the law.
Federal judges and federal prosecutors routinely block the access common citizens are supposed to have to the federal grand jury.


There is a logical but not legal, reason for this.
If you have ever seen someone hustled through the courthouse cattle chute, you will understand that “equity” and “justice” have little to do with the process. Judges can be determined to make things turn out the way they want them to and naturally, prosecutors are always determined to get convictions. In many ways, equity, justice, facts and law, interfere with the process.


Have you ever stopped to consider that public defenders (the poor man’s lawyer) don’t investigate anything? Public defenders do not have police or detective resources at their disposal…only prosecutors do. Your defense will rely almost entirely upon the evidence the prosecutor decides to “share” with your lawyer. If the prosecutor “forgets” or “loses” evidence that would help your case, or decides to ignore an important lead, he will win and you will lose.
That is not merely misbehavior, that is criminal behavior. The very last thing a prosecutor (or judge) wants is a properly operating, independent grand jury.
The ONLY recourse that remains now, against a corrupt judge, is to respectfully "request" that the judge evaluate himself for honesty.
​


What criminal wouldn’t desire the power to block an investigation of their own crime? It is hard to imagine a more fundamental or structural conflict of interest than that.

pt. 2.

Human nature takes over.


To protect the sanctity of the judiciary, otherwise honest judges are driven to shield the misdeeds of their crooked brothers at the bar. Perfectly understandable human nature, yes... but when this behavior is at the expense of the public trust, it is utterly unpardonable. The courtroom is no place for situational ethics.


A judge who is honest 99% of the time is useless to the people. If this judge is your judge, his 1% of corruption equals your 100% of conviction. Your right to a fair trial does not go away just because nine out of ten people did get one. And your right to challenge a man for criminal behavior should not go away just because that man wears a black robe.


Justice cannot tolerate exceptions. Just like a cop, a priest, or a bank teller, if they cross the line once, they have to go. Dishonesty is extremely difficult to detect and prove. External, independent, unbiased inquiry is the only solution.


It wasn’t always like this.


Judges have taken control of the “right” to assert your guaranteed rights, i.e., they are no longer inalienable as guaranteed in the Constitution. You have them only when a judge feels like letting you have them. If he doesn’t, you don’t. There is nothing you can do.
Effectively, judges “dispense” our rights at their whim and pleasure with total impunity.


Unfortunately, ordinary citizens have no other means to enjoy or enforce their civil rights except through that same court system. What this means is that without a mechanism for remedy, (the court) you have no rights. If a judge refuses to order relief, then you don’t get any. Therefore, citizens have no choice but to (literally) pray to a judge for leave to assert their rights. Where their prayers are denied, their rights are denied.


This type of abuse is exactly why our forefathers granted ordinary citizens the right to access the Grand Jury directly. It is a centuries old system of checks and balances imported from England, installed in America to protect ordinary citizens against judicial tyranny.


Direct access to a grand jury is the victim’s path (us) around the victimizer’s (bad judges) roadblock.
In this Petition you will see a perfect example of justice thwarted by the very people (judges and the U.S. Attorney) who are supposed to ensure that justice is done.


lKathreinlseeks to expose and eliminate
this unfair Conflict of Interest.


Why did the Seventh Circuit try so hard to bury his case? Because to allow a common citizen direct access to the federal grand jury is to expose the judiciary's Achilles heel... accountability to the people.
Title 18 U. S. C. § 242 provides that judges are liable for criminal acts committed under “color of law” meaning that judges may be immune from prosecution for civil misbehavior, but they are NOT immune from prosecution for criminal behavior.
The only way to make a judge answer for criminal behavior is to bring criminal charges against him. The ultimate irony here is that the only way to bring criminal charges against a bad judge is to ask another judge for permission to pursue the bad judge. As noted above, that will never happen.


As long as the subjects of the investigation (judges) are the gatekeepers of the investigation, there will be no investigation. Therefore, judges have rendered Title 18 U. S. C. § 242 unenforceable.


IfbKathreinlcannot win this fight to bring evidence of judicial misbehavior directly to a grand jury, then all Americans who are victims of § 242 crimes are denied their civil rights. It will become forever impossible to get a complaint against a judge, past a judge.
This is why his complaint matters so much to so many... because you never know if the judge on your case is going to do his job.


If he decides to steer the proceedings against you, you will wrongly lose your property, your liberty and perhaps your life. You MUST have a way to protect yourself.
​


Read Kathrein's Booklet to understand how this barricade affects all of us...in ways you would never suspect.


Call your Congressman, TODAY.

Tell him, to tell the Supreme Court, to answer this question.

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Hallmark and Sandy Hook

11/5/2016

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Fox News

11/5/2016

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We were interviewed in Newtown on SandyHook's first anniversary after Hallmark generously created one of a kind ornaments to honor each life lost in SandyHook.

​
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Brooke Shields' husband weeps while giving testimony in stalker's trial | Fox News

​
https://www.google.com/amp/www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/06/16/brook-shields-husband-weeps-while-giving-testimony-in-stalkers-trial.amp.html?client=safari

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tbc.

8/5/2016

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Who's to say what happened when, or where did things fall apart..  

It was the day that my dad left, and neither one came back.  

This is my story, and my belief.  My father's demise plays out differently across the fray..  One sister remembers things this way- another that...  even a cousin or an Aunt feel entitled to enthrust their views as if their truths would/could supersede mine..  

smh.

My dad left when I was 11 or 12- to me it's all a blur..  My mom never recovered, and she spent the remainder of our youth's asleep.  
Al Deome was out neighbor and lived at 126 Box Mill Rd, Boxborough, MA.  He was married to a nurse- her name was Sare.  They had two kids- Deedee and Chris...  My mother recalls hearing their screams late at night.  Nut, she couldn't get off the couch for us- she sure ads fuck couldn't get off the couch for them...
We all have our demons and we are a product of our environment.  I will not go into my mother's story as it is her painful past.  I will say that the human spirit can only handle so much before it shatters..  My mother had reached her limit over my dad's infidelity, but she had the last word.  Although they would go through a short lived honey moon phase in the years to come, the damage was done, and he became secondary,  third even...
My dad's gone- doing his secretary, and my mom's asleep in her room.  There were 5 of us kids and I guess when my mom was sleeping we all took turns..  Or, it could be that...  idk....  all I know is a little boy at age 11 or 12 should've been looked after..  
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This is me, John Rinaldi at age 11.  This is how little I looked when I was raped/assaulted/ molested/ whatever...  THE man was 38 years old I was 11.  
Who let's their child stay out past 10?  Who doesn't tuck their children in to sleep?  Who loses track??

It started rather innocently and it only lasted a little while.  

The first time we were going to the gym.  It was about a 30 minute drive from Boxborough, MA up 495 to Leominster, MA to the YMCA.  This was a strange time for me as I was just reaching puberty...  We were driving to the gym and Al asked me if I wanted to steer.  Of course I wanted to steer, I was a boy wasn't I??  He told me to lean over to put my hands on the wheel and as I did, the creepy fucker put his right arm around me as I leaned in...

(I can still feel the feeling....  IT WAS CREEPY, and dirty.  You know how you feel if you've slept in your clothes..  or you're being cool and you wear a pair of jeans longer than a few times....  you know how slippery they feel...  like the oils in the skin make the clothes glide...  YUCK!  That's the only thing that I can remember about this gross fucker!!)

        as I leaned in, AL put his arm arounf me as I gripped the wheel.  In one smooth move, the bastard's hand found it's way into my lap.  He then grabbed/cupped my nuts!  Of course, I got anxious and quickly gave him back the steering wheel.  

He would also take me to go swimming, but I can't seem to recall.....

Then one night it happened.  I was over the neighbors this one day and it turned into night.  I don't know for the life of me how it happened..  One minute I was over there and it was early evening..  his kids I recall were sent to bed.  I don't know..  but I seem to remember the doors to the rooms were locked with an external lock- like a lock with a key.  STRANGE!  The early night turned into late night and this was when HBO turned pervert at 10:00pm.  It was soft porn.  Gross!

In the late 70's HBO would turn to sift porn at 10:00.  The movie I remember was that it was supposedly a foreign movie and the people were somehow at this camp within the woods.  That's all I can remember...  well, I remember getting a boner and I didn't know what the hell 'THAT' was.... I then remember Al unbuttoning my pants and pulling out my little Willy Wonka- well, big Mr. Willy Wonka- I'm Italian you know....  (and most always bigger 'than' the other guy....)

So, this pervert gross fucker who reminded me of wearing dirty clothes you find in the hamper (and not just worn 1x- worn like 5x before....)  pulls little Johnny monster c*&k out and starts this disgusting thing licking my ding dong.  At first it didn't register, and all of a sudden the dirty gross feeling of dirty clothes consumed me..  I pulled away and kicked him in his nuts.  I was sure he had to have a little one less than half an inch.  He was too gross to have a big one....

And that was that!

Now, many would say it was a blow-job.  No big deal.  It was to me.  I was destroyed!  Wrecked!  

At first I just hid.  I had and then started to withdraw.  Now, at this time I began to not only despise my family, but actually HATE them.  I WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY.  I don't know if it was my first kiss-  I think I saved that for Debbie Amoling....  I don't know anything..   All I know was that I believed that whoever would look at me, they'd see what that gross, creepy man did to me.  I didn't know what sex was, so I couldn't measure it's severity.  All I know was I was no longer who I was.....  

I slowly withdrew from my family, and then came from withdrawing from my friends...  And suddenly I was all alone in my shame.  
  • I over-dosed.
  • I cut my wrists.
  • I tried any and every way I could to kill myself.   

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